Questions:
What benefits can come to a husband and wife when they listen carefully and lovingly to each other? They learn more about each others true feelings and motivations. They seek to understand before making judgments or offering advice. Each person is more likely to feel valued and loved. Each person is less likely to be defensive and more likely to communicate openly.
What can get in the way of couples really listening to each other? (Answers may include busy schedules, failure to take time to listen, and lack of interest in each other’s responsibilities.)
What can marriage partners do to become better listeners? (In addition to asking for participants’ ideas, consider sharing those listed below.) Take time to talk together. Eliminate distractions, giving all attention to one another. Listen to understand. Do not interrupt the person who is talking. If necessary, ask questions such as “Can you tell me more about that?” or “How did you feel when that happened?” or “I’m not sure I understand. Are you saying that … ?” Avoid getting angry or offended. Remember that in many cases, more than one opinion can be right.
-Marriage and Family Relations Instructor's Manual, Lesson 5: Responding to Challenges through Positive Communication
Quotes:
Husbands
and wives, learn to listen, and listen to learn from one another. I was
amused to read of an experience recorded by Elder F. Burton Howard in
his biography of President Marion G. Romney: “His good-humored love for
Ida was manifested in many ways. He delighted in telling of her hearing
loss. ‘I once went to see a doctor about her hearing,’ he would say. ‘He
asked me how bad it was, and I said I didn’t know. He told me to go
home and find out. The doctor instructed me to go into a far room and
speak to her. Then I should move nearer and nearer until she does hear.
Following the doctor’s instructions, I spoke to her from the bedroom
while she was in the kitchen—no answer. I moved nearer and spoke
again—no answer. So I went right up to the door of the kitchen and said, "Ida, can you hear me?” She responded, “What is it, Marion—I’ve
answered you three times.”’” Even
with normal hearing, some couples seem not to listen to one another.
Taking time to talk is essential to keep lines of communication intact.
If marriage is a prime relationship in life, it deserves prime time! Yet
less important appointments are often given priority, leaving only
leftover moments for listening to precious partners. Keeping
the garden of marriage well cultivated and free from weeds of neglect
requires the time and commitment of love. It is not only a pleasant
privilege, it is a scriptural requirement with promise of eternal glory. Wise partners, listen to learn from one another. -Russell M. Nelson, Listen to Learn, April 1991
What benefits can come to a husband and wife when they listen carefully and lovingly to each other? They learn more about each others true feelings and motivations. They seek to understand before making judgments or offering advice. Each person is more likely to feel valued and loved. Each person is less likely to be defensive and more likely to communicate openly.
What can get in the way of couples really listening to each other? (Answers may include busy schedules, failure to take time to listen, and lack of interest in each other’s responsibilities.)
What can marriage partners do to become better listeners? (In addition to asking for participants’ ideas, consider sharing those listed below.) Take time to talk together. Eliminate distractions, giving all attention to one another. Listen to understand. Do not interrupt the person who is talking. If necessary, ask questions such as “Can you tell me more about that?” or “How did you feel when that happened?” or “I’m not sure I understand. Are you saying that … ?” Avoid getting angry or offended. Remember that in many cases, more than one opinion can be right.
-Marriage and Family Relations Instructor's Manual, Lesson 5: Responding to Challenges through Positive Communication
Quotes:
Husbands
and wives, learn to listen, and listen to learn from one another. I was
amused to read of an experience recorded by Elder F. Burton Howard in
his biography of President Marion G. Romney: “His good-humored love for
Ida was manifested in many ways. He delighted in telling of her hearing
loss. ‘I once went to see a doctor about her hearing,’ he would say. ‘He
asked me how bad it was, and I said I didn’t know. He told me to go
home and find out. The doctor instructed me to go into a far room and
speak to her. Then I should move nearer and nearer until she does hear.
Following the doctor’s instructions, I spoke to her from the bedroom
while she was in the kitchen—no answer. I moved nearer and spoke
again—no answer. So I went right up to the door of the kitchen and said, "Ida, can you hear me?” She responded, “What is it, Marion—I’ve
answered you three times.”’” Even
with normal hearing, some couples seem not to listen to one another.
Taking time to talk is essential to keep lines of communication intact.
If marriage is a prime relationship in life, it deserves prime time! Yet
less important appointments are often given priority, leaving only
leftover moments for listening to precious partners. Keeping
the garden of marriage well cultivated and free from weeds of neglect
requires the time and commitment of love. It is not only a pleasant
privilege, it is a scriptural requirement with promise of eternal glory. Wise partners, listen to learn from one another. -Russell M. Nelson, Listen to Learn, April 1991Listening is an expression of love. It often requires sacrifice. When we truly listen to others, we often give up what we want to say so they can express themselves. Consider the following ideas as you strive to increase your ability to listen: ask questions, pause, attend to what the speaker is saying, attend to the speaker's unspoken messages, and restate what the speaker says. -Teaching No Greater Call, Lesson 15
Communicate well with your spouse—is also important. Good communication includes taking time to plan together. Couples need private time to observe, to talk, and really listen to each other. They need to cooperate—helping each other as equal partners. They need to nurture their spiritual as well as physical intimacy. They should strive to elevate and motivate each other. Marital unity is sustained when goals are mutually understood. Good communication is also enhanced by prayer. To pray with specific mention of a spouse’s good deed (or need) nurtures a marriage. -Russell M. Nelson, Nurturing Marriage, April 2006
-Russell M. Nelson, Listen to Learn, April 1991
Scriptures:
Appoint among yourselves a teacher, and let not all be spokesmen at once; but let one speak at a time and let all listen unto his sayings, that when all have spoken that all may be edified of all, and that every man may have an equal privilege. -Doctrine & Covenants 88:122
Hearken, O ye people of my church, saith the voice of him who dwells on high, and whose eyes are upon all men; yea, verily I say: Hearken ye people from afar; and ye that are upon the islands of the sea, listen together. -Doctrine & Covenants 1:1
Learn of me, and listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my Spirit, and you shall have peace in me. -Doctrine & Covenants 19:23
Listen to the voice of Jesus Christ, your Redeemer, the Great I Am, whose arm of mercy hath atoned for your sins; -Doctrine & Covenants 29:1
Definition:
Listen - to give attention with the ear; attend closely for the purpose of hearing; give ear; concentrate on hearing something.
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