Family: Dear Josie

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Dear Josie

Dear Josie,

I wanted to take the opportunity to write some thoughts and feelings down. Kaylene called and let me know that things were not looking good. I called and let Kylie know. She had just arrived in Brazil. I also tried to explain what was happening to my kids. We prayed for you and it wasn't long after that initial phone call that I heard from my Aunt Kathy letting me know that you had passed.

This is hard for me. Grandma and Grandpa Bair have both passed. Grandma Dawson has passed. Grandpa Dawson is still alive, but unfortunately I haven't seen him for some time. When we first moved to Utah and started visiting you regularly, you filled a hole for me. When I was around you it helped me to remember Grandma Bair. We have been visiting for the last 6 or so years now.

You filled a similar role for Kylie. My kids came into the world and you shared your love with them as well. They loved coming to visit you and Pat. They loved your hugs. They enjoyed singing for you. They also loved the little treats and $2 bills.

I think this is especially hard for me because of the amazing person that I think you are. If I were to name the few people that I feel have had a significant influence on my life, you would be one of them. We visited you at your home and at the hospital, went to BYU games together, went out to head several times at Sizzler's and other places, and made trips to family reunions because we especially wanted to see Josie.

I'll never forget seeing your excitement at BYU games. You loved watching the cougars and you wore an old royal blue Sailor Cougar sweater. Security would check you purse as you walked in and just smile when they saw that you packed chocolates, nuts, and other treats for the games. I'll never forget when we walked out of Vivint Smart Home Arena. We were waiting on the corner and someone was standing there holding a sign asking for money. I did my best to just look straight ahead while you reached into your purse and did as Christ would do.

Our visits were always surprises. One time we popped in and you were putting together breads that you collected from bakeries. You took these around to people that were in need. I had the opportunity to drive you one time and I could help but think that you were 80+ years old and people should be doing this for you.

You loved your garden. You were so grateful for the little effort it took for us to rent a tiller and prepare the ground one spring. You used your garden to take care of everyone else like Grandma Bair did. I think about this with my little garden every year and try to be like you.

You had that sparkle. You would wink at me and make me smile. You never married, but I never sensed bitterness. You gave your life taking care of Pat.

I'm not sure how you did it, but one of the things that I admired and appreciated the most is the amount of love you shared. I could feel it. My family could feel it. We thought we were coming over to do something nice for you, yet we always left feeling so much better because of you. I felt like you could see in me, things that I couldn't really see myself. I wanted to be better because of you.

During Christmas break Kylie and I thought it would be good if I had some one on one time with you. I left and surprised you. Lavell Edwards had just passed away and he was one of the first things you brought up. You mentioned the influence that he had on so many and I can't help but think now about the influence you have had. Though I could see that your physical body was tired and in pain, you still smiled. We still talked. You expressed how much you loved me, my wife, and our children. I expressed our love for you as well. You had to look in your drawer for treats to share with me and for me to take home to my family. I'm so grateful I was able to have these moments with you. It was hard to leave and I'll never forget this special moment.

I miss you so much Josie. I know that you are in a better place now. You are with Grandma and your other siblings and parents. When I got that second phone call and told Addy, the first thing she said was, "Josie went back to be with Heavenly Father." I've repeated those inspired words from my four year old daughter over and over in my mind. We are members of His true church and I really do believe that family relationships do not end at death. We will live again and can be with each other again after this life.

I want you to know Josie that I think about you often. I think about what you have taught me. I think about wanting to be a good person like you.

Thank you for everything Josie! I love and miss you!

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